For: General Depression, Negativity, Self Doubt
Lack of confidence in your ability to beat back the forces of darkness? Carry this Pocket Purifier (in Swine Flu killing pink!) with you at all times. Wave it all around, over every surface, product and person you come into contact with. It will make you feel more in control. Even if it does not ward off the flu. You’ll know you were on top of it.
For: Trendiness, Lack of Popularity
People who wear masks are a little off putting aren’t they? Until now! Try these fun colorful masks to infuse a little style into your Swine Flu Panic Attack. We’re pretty sure there is no history of a frog flu pandemic, so hop to it and embrace these little critters as your own best defense against disgusting sneezers.
For: Suspiciousness, Misanthropy
Did your coworker REALLY wash her hands in the bathroom. Was that table actually wiped down properly. Who exactly was the last person to open that door. Did some sicko borrow your phone? How about the remote control – the kids might have touched it! Desperate times call for desperate measures. Stuff a full size can of Lysol in your bag or briefcase. We won’t judge you.
For: Assertiveness, Clarity, Memories
Say it, don’t just Lysol spray it! Just in case people are not getting the message, make yourself UBER clear with this practical and unique Anti Swine tee. Makes an excellent souvenir for the kids. Remember the great Swine Flu panic of ’09? Get all their friends to sign it while school is still in session.
For: Short Sightedness, Lack of Preparation
Now is the time to go for the industrial size Purell. When everyone else is looting the local walgreens, trying to grab the last 3 oz container of Purell, you’ll be safe at home, taking a bath in the stuff.
For: Addiction, One Upsmanship, Know it alls
Is your need to stay up to date on the latest cases of swine flu compromising your health? It is if you are touching a regular mouse right now! For shame. Get yourself an anti-microbial mouse stat! Before you click another Swine Flu link!
For: Insomnia, Hysteria, OCD
You know what sucks? You are way more likely to get sick if you can’t chill. So give yourself and your hypochondria a rest with a little herbal sleep aid. Swine Flu will probably still be here in the morning. Unfortunately.
This is hysterical! Just what I needed to hear today after watching all the madness unravel on the news last night. Thank you.
I like the anti microbial mouse – that would be good for when baby girl takes the mouse and puts it in her mouth…now is there an anti microbial laptop screen so when she takes her spit laden hands and rubs them all over my screen…you get the point!
Thanks for the laugh! I like the frog mask the best.
But honestly, when I get stressed, I go for Marc Jacobs, not Purell. Might as well go down in style.
BWHA ha ha ha!! I’m so getting my kids those pint size surgical masks. Well that and 7 cans of lysol. Don’t ever want one to be more than a reach away.
Love the anti-swine tee!
Great sharing this.
really appreciate YOU — thanks a lot!