I Prescribe: Bagel Slicer

For: Sadism, Clumsiness, Diplomacy

Prescriber’s Notes: It’s problematic, your tendency to cut yourself. How could you not when you have all those bagel bickerers arguing over who got the biggest half. If you cannot help but imagine you bosses face as you slam the bagel guillotine down, all is forgiven. No harm done. It’s just a bagel.

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