I Prescribe: Muffin Top Pan

For: Muffin stump haters

Prescriber’s Notes: Usually muffin tops are made with a steady diet of fast food and a pair of too tight, too low-rise jeans.  Now you can cook up a muffin top everyone will want…just don’t eat the whole batch yourself, or you will also get the aforementioned, undelicious-type muffin top.

We recommended Cheetos as Retail Therapy a couple of months ago. We prescribed Cheetos for the unemployed and those feeling like failures. But then we came across this video. It seems to indicate that some of the side effects of this snack are very… fortuitous We salute you for embracing your retail therapy benefits Cheetos.

I Prescribe: Country Workshop Pool Sign

For: Exhibitionism, feeling chubby, acceptance

Prescriber’s Notes: You like to swim nekkid in your pool, but after kids and some extra lbs, you can no longer describe the activity as “skinny” dipping. So what do you put in your Facebook and Twtter updates to tell all your friends whatcha been up to after a swim sans suit? Tell ‘em you’ve been chunky dunking. And hang this sign by your pool as well. Visitors need to be warned.

I Prescribe: Christian Louboutin Mad Mary Janes

For: Frustration, Rejection, Bruised Egos

Prescriber’s Notes: So you were passed over for that promotion. Nixed for that part. You are sick of cooling your heels when you’d rather kick ass. Time for new shoes. Fierce shoes that are sure to get you noticed. Your day is coming and you’re not one to settle. Enough of being the good girl. Time to step on some toes. Worn by the likes of Madonna and Mischa Barton. No-one says no to the Mad Mary Janes!