I Prescribe: uGallop

For: Flabby Abs, Boring Workouts,  Missing the Rodeo Circuit

Prescriber’s Notes: You might look silly, but this machine will work those abs like nobody’s business.  You’ll bounce up and down, left and right, back and forth…I won’t go on.  Hop on one of these and it will be one of the only times your feet will be in stirrups and you’ll still be having fun!

I Prescribe: P.I.N.K. Fitness System

For: getting a bikini bod, training to be a cage fighter or a Real Housewife of New Jersey (those bitches kick ass!)

Prescriber’s Notes: You love the name (PINK! how girly!), now love what it can do for you. Waaaay cheaper and more convenient than a gym membership. To get immediate gratification, all you need is a TV, a DVD player, one Benjamin, and some serious motivation and willpower. You can do it. Get buff and tough. Just like those housewives.